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I am a Recovering Mommy Shamer and You Probably Are Too
Whew! Did that title get your attention? Well, I'm not an internet troll or one of those people that approaches nursing mothers just to say 'eww gross.' I even sympathize with that lady whose kid climbed in the monkey exhibit, like don't get me started.
There's been a lot of talk lately about mom shaming. Innocent phrases like 'Breast is Best' have become stigmatized by trolls who make it their life's duty to shame moms who choose formula. And I mean guys that's one of many examples. This article is not for those meanies who make it their goal in life to hate on other moms.
I have nothing left in me but respect and love for other mamas. I love you guys. You're strong. You're beautiful. You're amazing. But let's get real for a second. I know I personally have gotten caught up feeling angry with those random mean girls on the internet or in person. But, what's the point in wasting energy on that negativity? And If I'm completely honest with myself inside I'm not always kind. I have even judged other moms decisions with my friends. WOW that feels icky to admit. But it's the truth.
The thing is we all have our opinions on parenting our kids. We ALL have them! But if you're like me, half of the time I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm failing, like Why did I think I could mother other human beings? So why would I feel like I could judge other moms going through the same joyful struggle as me? The truth is I want to turn the judgement off! I want those automatic..."oh boy he's a brat" or "Oh no she didn't" to stop.
I'll be the first to tell you, I'm by no means perfect but I encourage you to seek this goal with me! Let's encourage, seek to understand, build up, empower and LOVE other mothers. This motherhood thing is HARD (they don't call it the hood for nothin) So, let's help each other out. Let's not waste our time with the mean girls. Lets walk away from the drama and choose to look for the good in others.
Unless a child is endangered, how does it really matter what I think of someone else's choices? I'm going to make an effort to build up my own family and do my best to teach my kids not to be mean to others for being different. I'm not going to shame the moms or the mom shamers because I'll be too busy spreading positivity.
Here are some things I am trying to think about when I disagree with a parenting style or think a kid is out of control.
- Is my way the only right way?
- Have I ever done something similar?
- Who made me the judge?
- Can I choose empathy?
- Can I offer an encouraging word?
- Can I offer practical help? (not a lecture)
- Does this actually effect my life?
- But did they die though? (lol, is this child in any danger?)
- Is it possible that this child has an invisible disability? My child does. And let me tell you it really effects what we can expect from him. I don't feel obligated to tell every person that looks at me sideways.
- My personal favorite: MIND YO BUSINESS
Let's be nice to each other! Embrace our differences where we can and IGNORE what we cannot. Offer a helping hand to a tired mama or a word of kind encouragement. You're beautiful! You're kind! You're a great mom! So spread the love and as always Stay Crafty!
